Everything I Consume: Smokin' Aces

This contains spoilers as if this movie needs any more spoiling.

As Homer Simpson would say, "This is the suckingest bunch of sucks that ever sucked." Admitedly, I was --sucked in-- by the premise of four teams of competing hit men trying to kill Jeremy Piven but I never got that far. The movie begins with fifteen solid minutes of exposition as characters talk and talk and talk some more. I just couldn't take it. I knew I would never care. So we just fast forward to the ending and listened to Andy Garcia explain the movie to Ryan Reynolds. It turns out the aging mob boss isn't killing magician turned mobster Jeremy Piven because they're rivals, he's killing him because he's his son and needs his heart for a transplant. Really. The shot where Ryan Reynolds tearfully pulls the plug on the two guys on life support was one of the funniest things I've seen in weeks.