Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Crying Over Spilled Integrity

How do you know STFF is a major media outlet? I'm getting my story ideas from the New York Times, that's how.

Check out the above web page from the New York State Inspector General's Office and specifically the slogan "got integrity!". Is this the best they could do? They've got the time, it's not like they're conducting an investigation of Elliot Spitzer or anything.

I have a few questions.

Wasn't last year the fifteenth anniversary of the "got milk?" campaign being so over and the tenth anniversary of "got milk?" parodies being over. Do they even still have "got weed?" t-shirts on the Jersey Shore? The shark has been jumped, everyone has gone home and the fish tank has been dismantled. You're a hep cat, New York State Inspector General Kristine Hamann. Way to loosen up the Inspector General's office so the kids can get interested in inspecting.

Why doesn't the mission statement of the IG's office mention integrity? The mission statement is: "The Office of the Inspector General is entrusted with the responsibility of ensuring that State government and its employees meet the highest standards of honesty, accountability, and efficiency." Is integrity a recent addition? An optional add-on, maybe?

How important is integrity if you shoved it in the corner and made it hard to find?

Why does "got milk?" have a question mark but "got integrity!" have an exclamation point? I guess the answer is obvious but it defeats the whole purpose of the quote. People ask, "Got milk?" or "Got beer?" or "Got HBO?" all the time but have you ever hear anyone exclaim, "Got integrity!" or "Got fidelity!" or "Got thrift!"?

Why are they using Verdana? The "got milk?" font is Phenix American and it costs $24 on fonts.com. That's about the cost of ten minutes of trailing Joe Bruno.

Why are the buildings cut off in the picture of New York City (second from the left on top)? I keep thinking I need to scroll up to get the whole page. Oddly, all four link to the New York State website.

My suggestion is scrap the whole thing and get NYC's own Matthew Broderick to reprise his role from the Inspector Gadget movies. You know he's sitting in a trench coat right now staring at the phone thinking, "Ring, damn you, ring!"

Feel free to add your own critiques. Remember, there's nothing wrong with kicking someone when they're down. They're closer to your foot and it's more efficient.


Steve Buccellato said...

I think STFF needs a snazzy catch-phrase too. Maybe:

Got Opinions!

Or some "new" take on "don't have a cow, man."

Think about it.

Marc Siry said...

"I'm Brett, and YOU'RE NOT!"

Marie said...

If I were organized enough to remember to do so, I would steal ideas from Brett.