Gwendolyn Is Not Happy

Gwendolyn turns five on Monday and we're all very excited about this, especially Gwendolyn, but something is bothering her. And that something is that Pluto is no longer a planet. Back when Gwendolyn had just turned four and was first learning about the solar system from Ms. Frizzle, she was taught that Pluto was a planet. Now that she's almost five she has found out that Pluto has been downgraded and she's not happy. This morning she decided that Pluto has overtaken Saturn as her favorite planet ("Pluto is my favorite small planet, Earth is my favorite medium planet and Saturn is my favorite big planet"). Gwendolyn has told me some reasons why Pluto should be a planet:

1. Pluto has moons
   
2. Pluto is round
   
3. Pluto has craters ("Like the first planet". I think she may have taken an active dislike of cratered, round, no moon Mercury.)

So, I think she has a good case. If you want to help Gwendolyn out you can sign this petition. And this one. And what's one more? Take that astronomers!

Everything I Consume: Wall-E

Whenever I tell people I thought Wall-E was a good movie but nothing special they look at me and say, "You're the first person I know who didn't LOVE Wall-E." It's awkward. Maybe I was a little tense because I went to see it with Gwendolyn and I spend half the movies I see with her worried about her reaction. She had a great time. Towards the end of the movie I heard her making a weird sound like she was yawning but when I looked I saw she was holding back tears at the story. It was a moment that was heartbreaking but wonderful at the same time. I told her everything was going to be OK and, of course, it was but I wanted to tell her how lucky she was to be four and see everything for the first time and not know there's going to be a happy ending.

Artist's Rendering

Above is Gwendolyn's picture of everyone on the bus during our big Sunday adventure. From left to right, Diaper Bag, Owen, Me, the Wife and Gwendolyn.

What a Day!

Sunday started out like any other weekend day with everyone waking up too early and getting on each other's nerves. However, this day we had a plan. Team Sonnenschein was hitting the road and going to the world-famous Brooklyn Museum. Gwen was excited to see Egyptian art and particularly the exhibit on queens and princesses. Just as we left Gwen remembered we'd left the diaper bag. This was quite sharp of Gwen and some excellent foreshadowing.

As we killed time waiting for the museum to open (11:00 on a Sunday, c'mon!) Gwen brought up how great it was that she remembered the diaper bag. The Wife said, "Hey, where is the diaper bag?" We'd left it, including The Wife's engraved video iPod on the bus. We made some quick phone calls and found out that the MTA lost and found wasn't even open until Monday. There was nothing we could do we went to the Museum.

Despite Gwen's insistence on seeing the Egyptian princesses immediately I was determined to have her go to the Arty Facts kids program. When I was a kid and I didn't want to do something my parents always gave in and I don't want to be that kind of a parent even if I have to be a bit of dick sometimes. Arty Facts was great and I highly recommend it. The instructors did a great job talking about Chinese printing and Japanese screens and getting the kids involved in the discussions. Gwen was pretty shy as she often is when trying something new but she liked the Chinese and Japanese art and making Chinese characters. At the end we made a little Japanese screen and Gwen really got into painting and using the ink. If I said so myself I did some great parenting by guiding her and helping out but not overwhelming her. I know Gwen will thank me at some point in her twenties.

Afterwards, we got out of the studio and The Wife and Owen were right there taking a break. The Wife had gone to the Feminisms exhibit and luckily Owen was sleeping and didn't get traumatized by the freaky images. We all went to the Egyptian floor (after not finding the Queens and Princesses exhibit) and had a great time looking at the statues, papyruses and even mummies of cats and birds. It was a great day…except for losing the diaper bag. But The Wife did not give up. She talked to the bus driver on the way home and he said if we had lost the bag on the 10:00 bus the driver would be on the one coming in half and hour. We went home but were still dubious. So a half hour later The Wife went out to meet the next bus. It was the same driver as this morning! She asked him if he had seen her bag and he said, "Wait for me at Union Street and I'll make it happen." The Wife walked a block to catch the bus going the other way and the driver had the bag and the iPod! I couldn't believe it when she walked in. We're still a little stunned.

Oh, yeah, there was a football game that afternoon. Is there anything better than winning games your team has no business winning in playoffs your team has no business being in? I just wish my Dad was still around to make fun of me for not thinking the Giants would win. Anyway, that was Sunday in the world of the Sonnenscheins.

Certain Common Themes in the early Fantastic Four

For the past few months I've been reading old Stan Lee/Jack Kirby Fantastic Four comic books to my daughter. I was glad to share one of the crown jewels of American literature with Gwendolyn but I noticed certain, shall I say, recurrent themes in these stories. In order to make sure I wasn't just imagining them I decided to make a chart of how often certain things occured. Please click on the chart below, it's a bit easier to read that way.
We can see how the classic Jack Kirby splash page of a crazy Reed Richards machine doesn't show up for quite awhile. Notice how the early themes of Ben transforming back to human form and his fights with Johnny slowly fade away. Reed is always there to catch a falling Human Torch until the FF's change of direction with issue #30. And Stan and Jack never got tired of a final panel of the whole team or the word "Bah!"

Well, enjoy. God know I wasted plenty of time on this.

Happy Shemini Atzerat!

My daughter goes to Jewish pre-school and its closed tomorrow for Shemini Atzerat. It will be the third week since school started that she's off for two and a half days because of Jewish holidays.

Now, I know most of my readers aren't Jewish and I'd love to get you up to speed but I can't because I've never heard of Shemini Atzerat, either. Forty years of being Jewish and I've never had a day off for this holiday. No one has ever made my feel guilty about not going to Synagogue for it, nobody made fun of me for not knowing what it was in Hebrew School, nothing.

Here's the story from MyJewishLearning.com:

God grows nostalgic, as it were, and pensive. The people of Israel will not come together again in such numbers until Passover six months hence. God will soon miss the sounds of music and pleasure and the unity of the people. The Torah decreed, therefore, an eighth day of assembly, a final feast/holy day. … this day, Shemini Atzeret, is a reprise of the celebration of Sukkot but without any of the rituals. The message is that all the rituals and symbolic language are important but ultimately they remain just symbols.

If you can't read between the lines this is a holiday because there are so many freaking Jewish holidays this time of year. In other words, it's Holiday Day. Now, in Israel where they don't have time to screw around, Shemini Atzerat is merged into Simchat Torah (which is a legitimate holiday). But here in Brooklyn, not only is it a seperate holiday but Gwen's pre-school closes for Erav Shemini Atzerat aka Shemini Atzerat Eve aka Holiday Day Eve! Do Christians celebrate Chistmas Eve Eve? What about the month of pre-Ramadan for the Muslims?

Anyway, I'm outraged, as always.

Happy Birthday, Gwendolyn

Gwendolyn's 4th birthday was this weekend. It was a lot of fun and she got a lot of great presents but this is a picture of my favorite. Because it's not enough to be a boat, it's not enough to be hip hop or a ninja, it's not even enough to be a world champion.

Happy birthday, Gwendolyn. You're my hip hop ninja world champion.

Gwen's Potty Party