Everything I Consume: Father's Day Edition

Because of the whole Father's Day thing The Wife let me choose the movies for the weekend and I blew it, blew it when it should have been so easy like the Celtics in Game 5 or the Red Wings in Game 5. But it's OK, just like those teams I won in the end.

I can't believe I let my extended metaphor take over my post.

First up, was The Bigamist which I have to say gives away a crucial plot point in the title. As anyone who's seen D.O.A. knows when Edmond O'Brien is away from the wife (not The Wife, who never met Edmond O'Brien to the best of my knowledge) bad things happen. In this movie he hooks up with waitress Ida Lupino, doesn't tell her he's married, and has a baby with her (Edmond's wife can't get pregnant). Apparently his motivation was that his wife becoming too important in their business and this threatened him. So, woman who help their husbands succeed while jumping through hoops to adopt a child heed this movie as a warning! Or better yet take a night off and see Sex & The City or something.

Charlie Chan in Shanghai was below par for the series and most of its plot twists were easy to see coming. Anyway, it was a good Father's Day movie since the Chans are a great father-son team. Oddly, I kept having the feeling I'd seen this movie before but I'm pretty sure I hadn't. Weird.

Father's Day itself was a lot of fun. I got to sleep in, got some nice cards, from both kids for a change! Gwendolyn got me a remote controlled triceratops. She has decided the triceratops is my favorite dinosaur and is always pointing them out to me. My other present was an awesome GPS watch so I can now use satellites to tell me how far I've been running. Thank you, NASA. I've been playing with the mapping websites all week so expect to see more of these soon.

Everything I Consume: Charlie Chan In Egypt

A sub-par effort. There's a bunch of hooey about a curse and mummies but it's not very interesting. Keye Luke is nowhere to be seen and the comic relief is Stepin Fetchit. That's right, the actual Stepin Fetchit. Fetchit is outright disturbing with his sleepy eyes and mumbling speech and I was relieved whenever he left the picture.

Everything I Consume: Charlie Chan In Paris

This movie had it all, multiple killings, disguises, people lurking in the shadows, rocks thrown through windows with messages on them, secret passeges, you name it. Warner Oland is excellent as Chan and this movie marks the first appearence of the awesome Keye Luke as Lee Chan, aka Number One Son (by the forties they's be down to #3). Lots of entertainment packed into 71 minutes.

Interesting, at least to me, is that even though this movie is set in France and most of the characters are French no one affects a French accent. In fact, the only actor in the picture speaking with an accent is Oland.

Everything I Consume: Charlie Chan in London

Sometimes, I pass the time wondering which fictional detective I'd want to clear me of murder if it ever came to that. I'm down to a final four of Miss Marple, Columbo, Perry Mason and Charlie Chan.

I love Charlie Chan. I mean, I can see how some people might find a Swede spouting pidgen English while pretending to be Chinese offensive but I love the guy. I don't think he's ever in a fist fight or uses a gun but he seems absolutely fearless. He's classy but sarcastic and also a good dad. Of course, he's a brilliant detective. I kind of think I'm the Charlie Chan of of direct mail production artists.

For Christmas last year my mother-in-law got me Volumes 1 & 2 of the new Fox DVD box set. I told her I'd rather just get Vol. 2 -- the ones with Keye Luke as Number 1 Son -- but she insisted I had to start at the beginning.

The plot of Charlie Chan in London is the hardy perennial of an English country house where one of the guests has committed murder most foul. There's lots of interviews, eavesdropping and sneaking around in the dark. I enjoyed it even if it took me three viewings to see the entire 79 minutes of the movie. It's tough to find movie time with two kids and a wife who thinks Charlie Chan movies "all suck".

Charlie Chan in London was released in 1934 and starts Warner Oland. One of the supporting actors, the male romantic lead actually, is Ray Milland who we pretend is best known for The Lost Weekend but is really most famous for The Thing With Two Heads. He also starred in X, The Man with the X-Ray Eyes (with the underrated Don Rickles) and Panic in Year Zero (with Frankie Avalon who I feel who gets the proper amount of recognition).